Wednesday, February 28, 2007

February Reflections - Motherhood

Its the end of my 2nd month as a mother. These past 2 months have been tough. Kimi developed colic at 3 weeks old although he was fully breastfed. Apparently, my breastmilk was giving him colic. So, I struggled to continue breastfeeding him till he was a month old before switching to formula. This helped to stabilise him a little. Infacol also helped.

It is such agony when the best actually hurts him. So what do you do? Stop or continue to give him the best? Sometimes, I feel Life is such a laugh - when you have sufficient to feed, your baby cant' take your milk. To those whose baby can take mummy's milk, mummy do no have enough to suckle. It was an agonising decision to stop breastfeeding but one that is made with guilt, sadness and helplessness. Although, friends have been encouraging, I can't help but feel I'm a lesser mom because I can't give my baby the best.
(Left - Kimi, having his nap & looking like an angel)

But there is nothing I can do but hope that Kimi will still thrive on formula milk. I can only say that when he can eat, I will cook & prepare the best meals for him as a compensation. I hope Kimi will develop a varied and good palate like me, his mummy!

Looking back, I never thought motherhood would be so tough and I almost gave up. Luckily with the support of my sister I made it through.

Fortunately, Kimi develops pretty quickly and has started to respond to me and stimulus. He can smile and focus - this gave me the energy and fervour to shoulder on. And I could see sunshine again!

It's really not easy being a mother so toast to all moms in the world!



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