Hold My Hand

Since Oct or Nov last year (2009) Kimi would ask me to hold his hand whenever he slept. To me, it was the sweetest request. Why? That showed that I was his security blanket... how nice can that be? :)

I've always put Kimi to bed and I would carry him in my arms till he slept and this was from the day he was born. But I 'trained' him such that I shall not be rocking him like a 'yao-lan' or walked around the house endlessly. I KNEW that 1 day he will be more than 10kg and that would be back-breaking! So I planned right from the start that it meant sitting down comfortably and with rhythmically patting only.

It worked. And that was how he slept, night after night in my arms. I loved the feeling! But as Kimi grew, he became heavier and my arm was giving way and so we progressed to a pillow propped on the bed and he sleeping on my thighs. Nice too. :)

Then came last year when he said he wanted to sleep on his own, in his own cot. Frankly I was devastated! So I let him, feeling so sad everyday. Then one day out of the blue, he said that he wanted to hold my hands and I was SOOOOO happy!

Last week's article on Mind Your Body was interesting. While all of us are guilty of subscribing to some Parenting Gurus on how to bring up our kids, the writer was so right when she said that the best parenting was 'gut feel'. And I agree. I never really bothered about what most books or Gurus would say reagrding when a child needs to be toilet-trained, sleep on his own, etc, etc. I always believed that 'when a child is ready, he will be ready' and that will make everything so much easier.

Kimi toilet-trained himself when we were in Hong Kong last year. One day at the hotel, he told me that he didn't want to wear his diaper so I said as long as you tell me or papa when you needed to go. And that was it. Of course there were a few accidents but it was far and few. Kimi is currently not toilet-trained for naps and bedtime. Again, when he is ready, he will be ready and I also do not bother to push him.

I know many parents are eager to let their child sleep on their own. For me, it's the other way round, I really have no hurry. Again, my theory was proven. When they are ready, they will be ready. Kimi is starting to display such independence and I am not in the least bit frantic that he still needs to hold my hand now to sleep.

In fact, I wished he would want to hold my hand till I'm 80! Such closeness with our children sadly to say diminshes as the child grows. It is a fact and we can't deny it. It will come a day when we will take a back-seat in their lives.

So, enjoy and savour the moment we can with our little ones cos they REALLY grow up too fast. Everything else can wait, the laundry, dirty dishes, your beauty mask and even sleep! Cos there will be a day when they may not even want you in their rooms!